Lizzle’s Totally Random Blog

A BLOG THAT IS TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY ABOUT ME…AND OTHER PEOPLE

SUMNER DRINKS V8…A LOT *pukes* April 19, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lizzy-wa @ 1:31 am

Sumner. is a dork. he is such a dork that he just recently “cut” his index finger while trying to “cut” a stick. well, that’s the short version. he was really trying to “widdle a flute” out of a stick. stupidness. so i have this theory…

just about, oh, 10 million years ago, bugs roamed the earth. they were happy bugs. being born, flying around, dying 24 hours later. Sumner, was not one of these bugs. in fact, he wasn’t even born yet. ok, so let’s fast forward.

just about, oh, 5 million years ago, Sumner was born. not the normal way, oh no. Sumner was hatched…from a flounder. kind of. the flounder died, his eyeball popped out, and Sumner hatched from the eyeball. but he wasn’t a flounder. he wasn’t a boy, oh no. he was a ladybug. a girl ladybug.

Sumner was a happy ladybug. he flew around, eating aphids, for a full 24 hours. then he died. then he was an ateater. until he died. then he turned into a flounder. he almost died right away, do to the fact that anteaters live on land. but he didn’t. this continued for millions of years.

he shifted through many beings: turtle, butterfly, mocking bird, inch worm, platipus, rabbit, grizzly bear, house cat, gorilla, and several others. all the while, he was a girl.

then, just 4781 short days ago, (that’s 13 years and 36 days for all of you slow peeps) Sumner died again, and was reborn as a human. a girl human. now, what i didn’t tell you was that one of the creatures he was born as, was a Tebliquean. Tebliqueans feed on…DORKINESS! and the daily V8, soy crackers, dead slugs, and Kelly dolls of course. since then, 400 years ago, that is what his *cough cough* her diet has mainly consisted of.

now, as you know, only guys are dorky right? well, except for Mr.Robot, and it doesn’t work on him *couch couch* her. so, as the years built up, all of that guy dorkiness added up too. by the time Sumner was 4 hours old as a human, she was a guy. freeky. i no.

so there ya have it. Sumner…is a TEBLIQUEAN!!! and a girl.

by the way, V8 is gross.

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 😛

PS- Sumner is also a cruel and evil slug-kissing liar. (wich is why we call him Cesl. get it? C.E.S.L.)

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 😛 (again)

Advertisements
 

Protected: THE NAMELESS ONE II November 27, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lizzy-wa @ 4:44 am

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

 

TRISTAN, AKA:CURLY (sneak peak) October 28, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lizzy-wa @ 11:38 pm

Tristan. is a boy. which is more than anyone in my class can say. well, except for Mr.Robot, but that’s beside the point. the point is that Tristan is a boy. an annoying, short, twisted little boy. plus, he’s a sixth grader. yes, he is a little sixth grader. but i vowed my life to writing the true nature of every interesting person i ever meet, and Tristan is interesting alright. so here’s how i found out…

we met on a warm, not really summer day. it was during PE of course, cause i’m in sixth grade PE. cause of stupid math. pathetic. but anyway. he was over there, and i was over here. it was love at first sight. yes, i. was in love. i mean, how could you not love it? his hair was so awesome and curly. i couldn’t stop thinking about it. because as you don’t know, i have a thing for fros. don’t ask why. i just like ’em. but this fro, was SPECIAL.

i befriended Tristan. i mean, how could i not. i now call him Curly. and he responds to Curly. which i like. so, he has awesome hair, as we all know. but…there’s more to the story…

so, the other day. i was looking at his hair. his totally awesome curly hair. when i saw him take a bite. it all comes down to this…

so some…4225 days ago, Tristan was born. in the normal sense. which is odd, because not many people i know are born normal. in fact, he is the only person i know of on this earth that is pure normal human. so, fast forward 3652 days into the future. well, 573 days in the past i should say. Tristan is now exactly ten years old. he has just become victim to really bad hair. so, so, sad. well, not that bad of hair, he just doesn’t like it. so, he takes a visit to Dr.The Doctor. now, i know Dr.The Doctor is a dentist, but he also is a victim of male pattern baldness, and he has experience in hair transplant.

so, Tristan walks into the office. all shy and not thinking he has good hair and whatnot.  he takes a seat in The Chair. and suddenly, a black object drops from an air vent on the ceiling. he blinks, and there is a girl in front of him. then, he feels a sharp ping of pain on the front of his not stylish little head, and everything goes black.

Dr.The Doctor as you don’t know, never does traditional operations. he didn’t have hair, or even fake hair lying around. but what he did have was his left over Jack in the Box lunch. he pulled out the curly fries, looked at them, and shrugged. he was trying to watch his weight and all. and he didn’t need the EXTRA salt. he decided it would have to do. he did the operation and woke Tristan up.

Tristan woke to find himself looking in the mirror at the dentist’s office. he smiled. “hey. i look good.” he posed, he danced, he karaoked. he smiled, he frowned, he pouted. he was beautiful! or, so he thought.

theres more. but im not done.

 -Lizzy-wa OUT! 😈

 

VICKY…THE ICKY October 19, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lizzy-wa @ 3:04 am

icky Vicky, you’re so so icky, just the thought of being around you makes me so so sicky. icky Vicky. EW! EW!

ever wonder how that song came to be? well, like this…

(mission impossible song) “dun, dun, dun, dun. dun, dun, dun, dun, dadadun…dadadun…,” she sang as she snuck through the air vent. fast as lightning, strong as steel, cunning as a fox. Vicky was almost SPECIAL. she was a secret agent. now don’t go spreadin this around, cause she’ll never forgive you. notice the words secret agent are crossed out? yeah.

CRASH! CLUNK! BOOM! she froze. it sounded like shooting. right below her. she was only six, and all spies know that agents under ten aren’t allowed to play with guns or fire. even if they were saving the president. it’s in the How To Be A Secret Agent for Dummies handbook.

she started to turn, then stopped. she was saving the PRESIDENT after all. she could bend the rules a bit if nessecary. she continued on. she did stuff like this everyday. Vicky was the best of the vest. the president’s being held ransom, don’t send in a grown-up, send in Vicky.

she came to a vent, and looked down. a video game. the bad guy wasn’t shooting at someone. he was saving the princess form the bad guys on tv. which she didn’t get at all. this she could handle. unscrewing the vent, she dropped down right on top of his shoulders, and sprayed his face with laughing gas. “that should hold him,” she said, and took his keys. she ran to the cell, opened the door, and hit the president with the laughing gas. better if he didn’t ask questions. Vicky. though working for good, could be very icky.

Vicky dragged him to directly under the vent, held on, and shot up her puller-upper-thingy. she dragged him through the vent, down the vent, and out the doors. when her backup got there, they said in unison, “what did you do to the president?!”

“just hit him with the laughing gas. he’ll only be out a little while,”she said. wait, did i say he’ll be out? laughing gas doesn’t knock you out. correct. by hitting him with the laughing gas, i mean she really hit him on the head with the titanium laughing gas can. OUCH!

“that’s it!” it was the head of the SSS, Super Secret Spies. “Vicky, you know you’re the best we’ve got, nobody else even comes close!” the other agents were turning red. “but this is the 4th time you’ve done something like this. i’m glad you saved the president, but…you’re fired.”

she squealed. she squealed at the top of her lungs, “STOP IT!!! STOP IT!!! THAT MEAN MAN PULLED MY HAIR!” as every face from the passing crowd turned to the head of the SSS, Vicky smiled. and ran. just as she rounded the corner, she could just make out he beginnings of an angry mob.

without her giant pay checks, her family was forced to move to washington when she was ten years old. then she met me. in those short five years, she tried to make the SSS look like a big joke, and she did a pretty good job at it. as revenge, the head of the SSS created Fairly Odd Parents, and modeled Vicky after her. she, being pure part evil and all, took it as a compliment.

she tries to act nice and knd nowadays, in order to hide her secret past. because it is secret. THAT is how that song came to be.

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 😛

 

AUBRETIA, OR IS SHE… October 17, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lizzy-wa @ 10:55 pm

Aubretia. she is quiet. too quiet. too quiet to be friends with me. but she is friends with me. let me tell you why this is…

not so long ago, in a not so far away land, lived a not so beautiful girl. she was the scullery maid for the royal family. an orphan child, whose sole purpose was to serve the king. king Neptune.

wait a second. did i just say king Neptune? you got it. this not so beautiful girl lived in the underwater cidy of…Rhizomochondraki. the only catch, she was no mermaid, she was a sponge. a big, pink sponge. she cleaned the royal castle all right, but as a filter. because as you know, sponges filter feed on the bacteria around them.

this sponge was Aubretia. she used to be a beautiful mermaid, one of the most beautiful creatures in all of Rhizomochondraki. not anymore. though Aubretia was beautiful, she was nasty. rude, and selfish, and commanding. you didn’t want to get on her bad side. unfortunetely, she got n almost everybody’s bad side. one of these people, was Neptune.

you know Neptune is extra powerful, the most powerful person in the deep blue Salt Lake. she told him to get her a comb. he said no. “HOW DARE YOU!” she shouted at him at the top of her lungs.

he got so mad, that he turned her into a sponge. a pink, ugly sponge. he cursed her so that she would have to clean the water in the royal castle for the rest of her life.

after four years of this life, she was 10 years old. poor Aubretia didn’t have any friends. didn’t have any beaut. she coudn’t even move. she wanted to suffocate herself and et it over with, but she didn’t have the hands to do it.

then one day, the royal shoe polisher, Jake, came by her. he was very poor, because as you know, nobody under water wears shoes. well, besides Aubretia’s distant cousin Spongebob Squarepants. you mite have heard of him. Jake sat right next to her, and sighed.

he looked at the sponge and started talking to her. after 3 hours, he said, “gee. you’re a great listener. you really are a wonderful person.”

all of a sudden, she popped into a girl. a human girl. she couldn’t breath. Jake held her tight, and swam back to the surface. he lay her there, and left her. she was found, and her new parents took her to mt.baker (my middle scool) two years later, where she met me. and THAT is why Aubretia is so quiet. sponges can’t talk.

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 😛

 

WHAT AMY REALLY IS October 12, 2007

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lizzy-wa @ 6:25 am

     Amy. she’s…different. sometimes amiable, but usually, a dork. she’s dorkier than most people, especially girls. i have never met such a dorky girl. plenty of dorky boys, but never super dorky girls. so why is Amy so dorky? the truth is, she wasn’t supposed to be a girl.

     her parents were rich, filthy rich, billionares! so rich that they got to test super high-tech stuff. they decided they wanted yet another boy, so they used a super hight-tech Build-Your-Own-Baby machine. they chose all of the characteristics: wierd, dorky, smart, blond hair, blue eyes, dorky, and female.

     Oops! did i say female? yep! it was a quick slip of the index finger, the tiniest mishap, but the mistake of a lifetime. this newly created robot baby would not be a baby boy, but a baby girl.

     Piles and piles of baby boy clothes were shipped to Talipthia, their private island. it cost her parents nearly half their fortune for all of her *cough cough* his clothes and toys.

     four seconds later, their baby, Amyrad Emacher, was made. put together by the most expensive software around. out came Amyrad, but…the machine said, “congratulations on your new baby girl!” they looked down, and saw that their baby was wearing pink!

     Mrs. Emacher fainted. they couldn’t live with this! oh, the embarrassment! but they had to love her. they bought her new clothes and toys, leaving them with nothing but a deserted island.

     they changed their last names so as to make Amyrad have a normal name. Amyrad Emacker was now Amy Rademacher.

     they moved to Federal Way, Washington. Mrs. Rademacher became a middle scool teacher. and Amy grew up to meet me.

    and THAT is why Amy Rademacher is such a dork.

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 😛

 

MY NEW BLOG

Filed under: Uncategorized — Lizzy-wa @ 5:57 am

MY NEW BLOG. what will i be talking about? what will i be discussing? what secrets will i tell you?

i’ll be talking about school and MY life. i’ll be discussing scool and MY life. i’ll be telling you secrets about scool and MY life. got that? good.

each day. or maybe more than once a day. i will post. i will either let you in on the true nature of some friends of mine at scool or dance, or i’ll just talk about ME. my shoes, my nails, my book, my stupid frizzy unmanageable undetangleable hair, stuff like that. but i’ll usually talk about other people. got that? good.

so. rite now your about to see my signiture. it is how i end all journal entries, (which is what this basically is) stories, or notes. i put whatever smiley face i feel at the time that i rite the post. got that? good. COMMENT! COMMENT! COMMENT! i need to get high face ranks!

-Lizzy-wa OUT! 😛